Start: 73 - 60 , 59 , 58 , 57 , 56 , 55 , 54 , 53 , 52 , 51 , 50 , 49 , 48 , 47 , 46 , 45 , 44 , 43 , 42, 41 ,(40) , 39 , 38,37,36, 35 - 1,66 cm

Freitag, 25. Mai 2012

zu wenig

Ich habe es nicht geschafft. Schon wieder nicht. 
Schon der erste Tag meines Essensplans bestand aus Selbstbetrug und kaloriensparen. Dann ein Fressanfall. Fasten. Ausgleichen. Hungern.
Ich habe es aufgegeben. Es ist einfach zuviel. Sobald ich etwas esse bekomme ich diesen Drang zu kotzen und das ist noch schlimmer.
Leider hab ich auch keine Waage mehr. Die behütet meine Mutter noch.
 Keine Waage. Keine Kontrolle.
Keine Ahnung welcher Schock mich heute bei meiner Ärztin erwartet.
43.3 - mit Kleidung.
Die Ärztin hat meine Mutter zum Gespräch geholt. Es rauschte nur so an mir vorbei.
Gewicht stabilisieren...Zwänge...Organschäden möglich...stationäre Therapie...Strudel aus Abnehmen und Hungern...Kontrolle...Essstörung...Zu dünn...Bmi 15.6...zu wenig...zu wenig...zu wenig....
Jetzt sitze ich hier zu Hause und grüble warum es so wenig Gewicht ist. Nach drei Fressanfällen...?
Wie kann das sein?
Ich grüble, ob ich mir ein Brot machen soll. Aber mein Kopf wehrt sich. Es geht nicht. Ich weiß, dass es nicht weniger werden darf, aber ich habe Angst mir ein Brot zu machen, weil ich Angst hab, dass es nicht genug sein wird, dass ich wieder fresse. Weil ich Angst hab, dass es zu viel ist und ich dick werde.
Ich hasse es. Ich hasse diese Blockade.
Meine Bluttests kommen am Dienstag. Mal sehen was die sagen. Bis dahin muss ich wohl über die Runden kommen...


  1. This is very interesting, You are a very skilled blogger. I have joined your feed and look forward to seeking more of your magnificent post.
    Also, I have shared your website in my social networks!

    Here is my website ... house

  2. It's genuinely very complicated in this busy life to listen news on Television, so I just use world wide web for that reason, and take the most up-to-date news.

    Feel free to surf to my site: Find a Bungalow

  3. In fact no matter if someone doesn't be aware of afterward its up to other visitors that they will help, so here it takes place.

    Stop by my blog post; continue reading this

  4. It is actually a great and useful piece of info.
    I'm satisfied that you just shared this useful info with us. Please stay us up to date like this. Thanks for sharing.

    Also visit my web-site: Find a Bungalow

  5. Its like you read my mind! You appear to know a lot
    about this, like you wrote the book in it or something.
    I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but
    other than that, this is great blog. A great read. I'll certainly be back.

    Also visit my web-site

  6. bookmarked!!, I like your website!

    Feel free to surf to my page - rent property

  7. I usually do not drop a great deal of responses, but
    i did a few searching and wound up here "zu wenig".
    And I actually do have 2 questions for you if you don't mind. Could it be only me or does it look like a few of these remarks come across as if they are coming from brain dead folks? :-P And, if you are writing at additional social sites, I would like to keep up with anything fresh you have to post. Would you make a list of all of your communal sites like your Facebook page, twitter feed, or linkedin profile?

    my web-site ... property

  8. I like reading through an article that will make men and women think.
    Also, thank you for permitting me to comment!

    Feel free to surf to my page

  9. Hello, I read your blog daily. Your humoristic style is witty,
    keep it up!

    Also visit my web blog more info

  10. I've been browsing on-line more than three hours these days, yet I never found any fascinating article like yours. It is beautiful worth sufficient for me. Personally, if all site owners and bloggers made good content material as you did, the net will probably be much more useful than ever before.

    Also visit my webpage ...

  11. Have you ever thought about including a little bit more than just your articles?

    I mean, what you say is valuable and everything. But think of if you added some great visuals or videos to give your posts more, "pop"!

    Your content is excellent but with pics and clips, this website could undeniably be one
    of the best in its field. Terrific blog!

    My web blog; phen375 slimming pills


Schick mir ne Postkarte. Adresse unbekannt <3

Was stört am Blog?